Ichabod's Off-Season Journal

[mdb1958]

Molchon wants you to do a "is wrestling real" interview with him!

[IchabodCrane84]

Molchon wants you to do a "is wrestling real" interview with him!

I feel you're trying to set me up for pain.

[IchabodCrane84]

So premature retirement, retirement, and then unretired. Brady just beat Favre at everything.

[Buc2]

March 13th 2022

So, we finally have some news I can opine on.

• Thank you to Russia for invading Ukraine and ending COVID. It doesn’t look like we’ll have to worry about anyone left on the roster with a fake vaccination card.

• Center Donell Staley was released after a paid stint on IR last year further depleting our snapper problems. How bad is it you ask? Jason Licht told Ali Marpet they’re moving him back to center and he retired. We did re-sign Stinnie though to a one-year deal and right now we’re looking at a D. Smith – Stinnie – Hainsey – Leverett – Wirfs starting lineup.

• We have a second franchised Chris Godwin and who knew we the fans could own our very own Godwin? One Buc Place ships us his uniform and playbook, and we have to run things to their specifications, but he’s ours. Any money he makes us is ours. I can’t wait for a 3rd or 4th Chris Godwin franchise. I just hope acmillis doesn’t buy a Chris Godwin. He’ll probably sell it to an opposing team’s fan.
  Vita Vea wins fastest player to sign a contract and then restructure.

• If SNL doesn’t capitalize on a Da Pack skit where it’s just Rodgers and Adams versus other teams, I’ll continue to still not watch it.

• Tom Brady’s last gift to the team was retiring, thus reducing the amount of games on MNF, thus saving the fans from Troy Aikman and Joe Buck.

• If you’re going to sit out a year of football it is better to spend your time getting happy endings than it is gambling.

• What’s the lung capacity of the 12th Man a mile up?

Current Roster Situation

QB - Trask
RB – Vaughn
WR – Evans, Godwin, S Miller, T Johnson, Darden, Grayson, Perriman
TE - Brate
OT – Wirfs, Smith
OG – Stinnie, Leverett, Hutcherson, Molchon
C - Hainsey
DT – Vea, Nacho, Prevlion, K Smith
OLB/DE – Barrett, Tryon, Nelson, Gill, Potato, Ponder
LB – White, David, Mr. Irrelevant, KJ Britt
CB – Dean, SMB, Cockrell, DD, Robinson
S – Winfield, Edwards, Warner, Cooper
K - Succop
P – Pinion
LS – Tinker Triner Toy Soldier


Seems bleak right? Days before free agency and we seem to be set up for a lean year. However, I think the FO is concentrating on the quarterback situation first. Listening to Licht and Arians, and the rare interviews Mike Evans gives it seems like they are eager to settle on who their quarterback is going to be quickly so they can get to work. I think if we have a quarterback set we sign re-sign Godwin. If we don’t he plays on the franchise tag. Once the quarterback is in place, the other pieces will start to come together. We also have to acknowledge the depth we’ve had, which we didn’t used to. We’re good at WR, DE, LB, S, and to some extent CB and OL. Yes, we may be losing key players there and I want to re-sign or replace them but there are players on the team currently that can start so we can concentrate on other positions of need.

Man, did this ever become dated quickly.

[IchabodCrane84]

March 20th, 2022

• So, I make an analysis and hours later Tom Brady ruins it by returning from retirement. Reminds me of the time I pledged my loyalty to Toshiba’s HD DVDs and then a week later the world decided to embrace BluRay.

• Julio Jones is being recruited by Tom Brady. This is excellent news. We need someone to take Richard Sherman’s place on IR.

• First team to employ two Shaqs at once unless you count the Mandela Effect, Kazaam movies, one starring Shaquille O’Neal and the other starring Sinbad.

• Russel Gage will take the spot of best Falcon free agent signing away from Jacquizz Rodgers.

• Ryan Jensen returns and I’m concerned he won’t gel with his new short haired guards.

• My opinion on Carlton Davis re-singing is whatever keeps Ross Cockrell out of the rotation is a good thing.

• The Raiders jettisoned Jon Gruden for homophobic remarks made in the past, and then balance the political spectrum by jettisoning Carl Nassib in the off-season… Hate to rely on a gay joke, but the Raiders really haven’t done anything else significant to talk about.

• I’m really going to miss those Baker Mayfield living at the stadium commercials. A genius would trade him to the Colts, still make the commercials having him move into Lucas Oil Stadium stating it’s finally nice to have a roof over his head.

[Primeminister]

That Lucas Oil joke would be gold.

[Defense5599]

March 20th, 2022

• So, I make an analysis and hours later Tom Brady ruins it by returning from retirement. Reminds me of the time I pledged my loyalty to Toshiba’s HD DVDs and then a week later the world decided to embrace BluRay.

• Julio Jones is being recruited by Tom Brady. This is excellent news. We need someone to take Richard Sherman’s place on IR.

• First team to employ two Shaqs at once unless you count the Mandela Effect, Kazaam movies, one starring Shaquille O’Neal and the other starring Sinbad.

• Russel Gage will take the spot of best Falcon free agent signing away from Jacquizz Rodgers.

• Ryan Jensen returns and I’m concerned he won’t gel with his new short haired guards.

• My opinion on Carlton Davis re-singing is whatever keeps Ross Cocksucker out of the rotation is a good thing.

• The Raiders jettisoned Jon Gruden for homophobic remarks made in the past, and then balance the political spectrum by jettisoning Carl Nassib in the off-season… Hate to rely on a gay joke, but the Raiders really haven’t done anything else significant to talk about.

• I’m really going to miss those Baker Mayfield living at the stadium commercials. A genius would trade him to the Colts, still make the commercials having him move into Lucas Oil Stadium stating it’s finally nice to have a roof over his head.

I fixed it for you. And the Lucas Oil joke is gold, especially with a guy like Baker "Hughes" Mayfield (go look up Baker Hughes for those who don't get it)

[BJJ34]

I worked at Circuit City circa the time HDDVD/BluRay was a battle. Man, If I had a time machien and could record the things people told me… i may be a rich man or I may be a guy living next to Pete wondering why our neighbor has two human sized cages in his basement that he loves to talk about.

[IchabodCrane84]

March 27th, 2022

• Fournette is back and everyone is jumping on board the Long-Term Lenny, Playoff Lenny, Lombardi Lenny thing. Heck, even I’ve been guilty of it, but no one and I mean no one has jumped on the gold that would be calling him Lenny Bruce and putting him in Creamsicle Orange with a feather in his cap. They did it for Arians, they can do it for Fournette.

• The Chefs signing Ronald Jones was about as reflective as his time here. Slow start when free agency began, he was best leftover, and made the most of it.

• Gholston been here ten years now. That’s right a decade ago Greg Schiano was our head coach.

• Killer move. Buffalo taking a second chance on an OJ.

• Honestly OJ Howard was supposed to sign with Denver, but they couldn’t bring themselves to put him in a Bronco… uniform.

Speaking of Denver. Define irony.

► Show Spoiler

Mile High Stadium ablaze.

I thought Russell Wilson was brought in to put out the dumpster fire in Denver.

[Defense5599]

+1 Rep Point for working OJ and Con Air reference in there.

Make that +2